Hello there! It’s been a while hasn’t it?
This is just a post to let you know why I haven’t blogged in a while…for those who were wondering.
I’ve been sick on and off throughout 2014 but I sort of ignored it being the hard headed person that I am. Then the peak came last October. My bags were packed but I wasn’t going to the train station or the airport as per usual. My documents were ready but they weren’t filled with my passport and travel notebook. I was going to the one destination that I never wanted to go, a destination that I absolutely hate : the hospital.
I have a big phobia towards needles due to an experience I had when I was small. I hate the smell of hospital. Nurses and doctors are scary for me. Every time I come to the hospital for doctor check ups, it gives me the shiver. And now I have to stay in one due to my illness. I stayed for 5 days last October.
After getting out, instead of getting better, I got worse. So this January I was hospitalized again (at a different hospital, should I do a hospital review now? Hah!)…for 2 weeks! I have never even stayed at a hotel for that long! While I feel uncomfortable letting you know the details of my illness (no offence), let me just say that it is quite serious. I have always felt healthy all my life and have never been hospitalized so this was really scary for me.
I realized though during my stay that I learned a few things about myself and life all around. Pretty much all my life I have always felt independent and that I can do and eat pretty much everything I want. Now being ill I have to rely on so many people and follow certain rules – and that was really hard to swallow for me.
It turns out…
I wasn’t scared of being in a foreign country by myself. I was more scared of being in a room full of people with medicines, needles and IV fluid.
I wasn’t scared of having bruises from falling down in a cobble stone street. I was more scared of bruises left by IV needles and blood tests.
I wasn’t scared of not having a plan for travel. I was more scared of having an unknown future. When will I get better? Is it too soon to make plans for March?
I started being very negative. However as time goes by I started seeing the positive sides of things thanks to the support of my faith, family and friends. I have always been very active for 26 years, and for once I am sick and that’s OK! Of course I would rather be healthy but I see it as a time for me to slow down and reflect on what I have done all these years. It is also a time for me to be humble, that sometimes I need to surrender and let other people in and help me.
I still like to think myself as a strong, independent woman. I need to still be strong for the recovery plan my doctors have in plan for me. They will be hard and sometimes painful but you know, take it light, don’t think about it…though maybe I’ll let out a few tears! And still I need to be independent in the midst of being dependent to others. I learned that it is impossible for others to encourage me while I don’t make the effort myself and for this I need to push myself independently to get healthier faster.
And what about travelling? Well, for once I have no plans to travel this year and I don’t expect myself to go anywhere either until I get completely healthy. I will however still be blogging my past travels and I do still have a lot of stories to tell. I see myself as a travel blogger on a break – we all need one sometimes right?
While I might not post as regularly as usual, I am still active on Instagram, sharing you some of my travel and food pictures. Also this is a great time for me to share posts from my fellow travel blogger friends via my Twitter and Facebook (yes I am still promoting myself shamelessly here!).
Anyway, this is not a pity post but just a post to say “HELLO! I’m still here, I’m taking a little break but I will stick around” 😀